So I just returned from a two-hour visit to the DOL office, where I renewed my driver's license. I was planning on getting an "enhanced" license, but thanks to my birth certificate not having an official seal of the Office of the Registrar of Vital Statistics (and Beer Can Stacking), I could not get one. But that only added insult to injury. What was the injury? Ha! I'm glad you asked.
Adding to the "go-to" fodder of stand-up comedians everywhere, I sat for two hours waiting for my number to be called...next to an older gentleman whose emanating scent alternated between what I would describe as a musty gym locker and a week-old dirty diaper. I'm quite confident that I surpassed David Blaine's breath-holding record. But even so, my nostrils are raw and I seem to have lost my sense of smell (temporarily, I hope). I fear that his odiferousness has seeped into my clothes and [dear God no] the pores of my skin. I also became quite nauseous by the end of the ordeal. So if anyone sees my new driver's license photo and wonders why I look the way I do, well...there you go.
Something else of (non running-related) note:
I think I could possibly be...preggers. What the h*#@ am I talking about? Check this out:
1. Not sleeping well
2. Low back aches
3. Ravenous appetite
4. Lower energy level
5. No sign of 'monthly cycle'
I'm not "showing" or gaining weight - yet. But I fear that I will. Stay tuned.
Have a great day, everyone.
WOW, If you are pregnant then we could be rich...book and movie deals for the 1st AUTHENTIC man to give birth! Way to go honey :)
ReplyDeleteHi Colin,
ReplyDeleteI was laughing the entire time I was reading this!! Ha ha, you are kind of funny:) Gross a musky gym locker and a week old dirty diaper...I would of moved!! Yikes:) Let us know how the pregnancy goes for you!
Congratulations Colin! Who's the Dad?
ReplyDeleteThat is so funny! Hope the smell didn't harm the baby!
ReplyDeleteJulie, I probably should have moved, but the place was packed (with only a few seats available), and it would have been obvious what I was doing. I guess I was more concerned with hurting someone's feelings than with the future use of my nose. Chris, due to legal implications, I can't divulge that information. Johann, it might have done irreversible damage to both the father AND the baby.
ReplyDeleteYou are such a good person...I guess I would of probably taken that into account too!! I wouldn't of wanted to hurt anyones feelings either:)
ReplyDelete