Borrowed Time

So, the good news is that the running I've been doing lately is starting to feel pretty good, like I'm actually becoming a runner again.

The bad news is that "starting to feel pretty good" refers to everything except my left knee.

A few runs ago, the knee would hurt for the first quarter mile or so, then feel pretty decent for the duration of the run. Then, it would hurt for the first half mile. Then, two days ago, it hurt for a mile and a half before settling down. Today, I ran an easy 4 miles and the knee hurt for 3.5 miles of it!

I'm no statistician, but that's not a good trend. So, at this point, I feel like I'm running on borrowed time.

Yes, I know I'm sort of in the process of focusing more on cycling, but as a longtime runner, I can't stay away. I'm now 68 miles shy of 10,000 lifetime running miles. That number is seducing me more every time I run. I'd like to get it behind me. That's why I've continued running through the ever-increasing pain. Dumb, I know.

Not to get too personal, but another reason I've put off a doctor's visit is because of my lousy insurance. I'm self-employed and pay 100% of my insurance out of pocket. In order to afford my premiums, I've had to choose terrible coverage — basically, a catastrophic plan. I would pay a $50 copay for office visits, but anything beyond that — treatment, imaging, medical procedures — would come out of my pocket, 100%, until I meet my insanely high deductible. So that, plus the fact that we're still paying off the therapy bill for my daughter's recent concussion, is the reason that no action has been taken.

Of course, that doesn't excuse me from running on an already damaged knee.

Like I said, I'm dumb.

Anyhoo...I may have a little more running in me before the knee says "NO MORE," or I may not. Like I said, today's run was pretty painful.

On a side note, I've realized that I'm a tough runner but a wimpy cyclist. When I say "tough," I don't mean I'm fast, or even impressive. I just mean that I can run through pain, wind, cold, snow, rain, hail, hills, etc. and have no problem with any of it (I've run through all of them at once on more than one occasion, actually) but as a cyclist, I hate wind, cold, hills and rain. So, humbly, I will claim to be a tough (and dumb) runner but a sissy cyclist. So far, anyway. Hopefully I can toughen up on two wheels before long.

I also hope I can celebrate my 10,000th running mile on this blog within the next couple of months. After today's run, I'm not so sure it'll be that soon.

But it WILL happen eventually.